Today call me feathered
Today call me feathered. I have been since last Saturday when, at the Relay for Life in Camarillo, California, I purchased a feathery purple boa with a stanza from an Emily Dickinson poem attached at one end:
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops at all.
I’m a huge fan of E.D. (Emily Dickinson, not erectile dysfunction) and couldn’t pass up the symbolism. But what I loved most about the boa were the statistics and information about colo-rectal cancer on the backside of the poem. (No pun intended. Probably.)
Because while hope is vital to fighting cancer, awareness is equally important.
This was the message emphasized last weekend while my kids, along with the black belt team from the Tang Soo Do University, took part in the 24-hour relay to support the American Cancer Society.
At the Opening Ceremonies, none of us knew what to expect.
But these people planned to Do. Some. Good!
Anyone who laments the sorry state of “teenagers these days” hasn’t met our group. They are fabulous beyond words and I love every single one of them. Even those I didn’t birth. Which is the majority. (Fortunately.)
The day started out overcast, but our spirits remained bright. We were there to make a difference. (Not just to purchase fine feathered accessories.)
The Relay for Life honors those affected by cancer; but it also seeks to spread awareness and information. The track was lined with signs displaying statistics about different types of cancers as well as support systems and prevention opportunities.
I read this and went straight to the Cancer Prevention Study tent to enroll in CPS 3. One survey. Seven teaspoons of blood. Zero stress. Okay, they measured our waists and said the number out loud. But in centimeters so no one flinched. Much.
Still. To promote the cause of cancer prevention, I’m sure everyone would’ve announced their numbers over the PA system.
In inches, even.
Meanwhile, our team and their families walked and walked and walked. This group had just completed seven miles around the track. Their goal was to finish a marathon and they kept count by stringing a new bead with each lap.
Here’s Jack’s string, now hanging artfully from a wall sconce:
Karly’s necklace was not so organized. (She’s my daughter, after all.) Hers was a riot of shapes and colors (and lovely, if I’m being honest). She dropped it after her 105th lap at 3:00 in the morning. The beads scatteredeverywhere but my girl didn’t care.
She knew the necklace wasn’t the point.
This. This was the point.
Halfway through the 24-hours, everyone in the stadium gathered to watch the luminaries glow. We held our breath collectively as the word HOPE lit the darkness. Stories were told, songs sung, tears shed.
And then.
The relay continued throughout the night and into the morning as soft pajamas replaced denim shorts.
After 26.2 miles, the boys rested. I think this is what pride looks like. Or maybe exhaustion. Possibly both.
The parents of these kids (some of whom are on the team or black belts themselves) walked as well. But most adults avoid pictures when they haven’t brushed their teeth or combed their hair. (Not me, of course. I love it.)
I’m not in this picture so don’t zoom in! (That’s a warning. Or maybe a plea on their behalf. Possibly both.)
In any case.
You may think I shouldn’t joke when the subject-matter is cancer. But sometimes we need to laugh to keep from crying; to look for happiness behind great loss. Love dwells in the middle:
Without it there would be no pain; but also no more joy.
After six years of training together, the people with whom we Gardners walked this weekend have become family. Together we’ve faced failure and success; love and marriage; birth and, sadly, death.
I wore purple feathers in the hope that their work and my words could inspire others to take a step (or 26.2 miles of them) to Do. Some. Good.
That we can lessen our grief by sharing as much gladness as possible.
For this exhausted little person.
And this bigger one.
For everyone.
Oh yes.
Because hope is the thing with feathers.
Enough for us to fly.
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Featured Post: Today call me feathered
Today call me feathered. I have been since last Saturday when, at the Relay for Life in Camarillo, California, I purchased a feathery purple boa with a stanza from an Emily Dickinson poem attached at one end:
Hope is the thing with feathers
That... Read more
52 Comments to Today call me feathered
by angela
On October 19, 2011 at 6:39 am
It is my dearest hope that I can raise children like yours. The spirit in this post is so sincerely beautiful.
by John
On October 19, 2011 at 6:43 am
The presence of offspring seems to show that, at least on a few occasions, have been a fan of the opposite of erectile dysfunction . . . but, I’ll now associate Emily Dickinson with Viagra. So thanks
I’m very, very proud of those kids . . . what a great achievement for what a great cause.
And what the heck are you worried about waist size for? I’m pretty sure your waist is smaller than my right leg!
by Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos
On October 19, 2011 at 7:36 am
You are beautiful, in centimeters or in inches.
And your children walking the length of a marathon for cancer?
I am in awe (as my children run madly in circles around my kitchen roaring at each other at the top of their lungs).
I also will now never think of Emily Dickinson without also thinking of erectile dysfunction…
by KLZ
On October 19, 2011 at 7:38 am
You kill me, every time. How do you write like this?
I’m glad you enjoyed Relay for Life. I used to love doing it.
by Amanda Austin
On October 19, 2011 at 7:47 am
As usual, this gave me chills.
My mother is a breast cancer survivor, my father a prostate cancer survivor. It’s all around me, everywhere I look. You can’t forget cancer. My mother’s short hair, the fact she’s missing from my son’s birth pictures because she was in the middle of treatment — are reminders and awareness for me. And hope for a healthy tomorrow.
SO glad that those children understand the importance of Doing.Some.Good. at such a young age. Hugs to all of them (even the ones you didn’t birth.)
by Di
On October 19, 2011 at 7:47 am
Wow…your kids are an inspiration. Today is crazy hat day at school, so I have on my pink breast cancer NY Yankees hat…not really crazy; however, I do teach in California among a sea of Dodger and Red Sox fans, so there’s the crazy. October is also breast cancer awareness month so I have on a pink wristband and a “Save the Girl’s” t-shirt. I feel a kinship with you, Jack, and Karly today and always. XXXOOO
by Missy | Literal Mom
On October 19, 2011 at 7:55 am
I am completely inspired. What an awesome group of kids you have (even the ones who aren’t yours).
by Jamie
On October 19, 2011 at 8:03 am
The things with feathers… love that. There is nothing better than children getting involved in helping others. What better lesson about this world than that.
by Poppy
On October 19, 2011 at 8:34 am
You make me want to do this. I also want your children. Is that weird?
by Megan (Best of Fates)
On October 19, 2011 at 8:58 am
I love this post. And ” while hope is vital to fighting cancer, awareness is equally important.” And feather boas.
You’re fabulous.
by Theresa Sonoda
On October 19, 2011 at 9:18 am
You and your kids inspire me. Before it was just you. Thanks my blog friend. I can always use more inspiration. And the “C” word touches everyone in one way or another. Good work!
by Heidi
On October 19, 2011 at 9:25 am
Beautiful beautiful beautiful
You
Your kids
Their friends
Their parents
An inspiring post filled with your heart and warmth, not to mention feathers. I hope it the event was a huge success. xo
by Roxanne
On October 19, 2011 at 10:03 am
Simply lovely. XO
by CDG
On October 19, 2011 at 10:10 am
You maybe say you’re merely feathered, but like hope, I see you–and your beautiful, generous family–as a thing with wings. Wings of the soaring and sheltering kind.
by JW Moxie
On October 19, 2011 at 11:01 am
Oh, Julie. It is apparent that your children have pure goodness, generosity, kindness, and love in their hearts. I wonder where they got THAT from? *wink*
by tracy@sellabitmum
On October 19, 2011 at 11:13 am
You and your children are inspirations – with or without feathers. So fabulous my feathered friend. So fabulous. xo
by Lori Dyan
On October 19, 2011 at 11:49 am
Well. Here I am, a blubbering (blubbery?) mess, inspired by your amazing kids and their amazing friends and the amazing parents who raised them. You are my mommy mentor (so don’t you dare let your waist get too small).
by Tonya
On October 19, 2011 at 11:52 am
So so so beautiful!!! And really inspirational!!! Thank you Julie!
Also, I have made a decision. I will be sending my son to you when he becomes a teenager because obviously you are the teenager whisperer! Oh and seeing as he’s already being sassy (he’s 3 1/2) he might be coming to your house a tad sooner…
by liz
On October 19, 2011 at 12:15 pm
I love that you have formed a family beyond your blood lines with this race.
by Greta @gfunkified
On October 19, 2011 at 12:32 pm
This gave me chills. What a great thing to have done, all of you.
by Jeanette
On October 19, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Wow – thank you for sharing that! I enjoyed reading all of it and am so grateful for people like you that truly make a difference and teach their children to do so as well.
by Galit Breen
On October 19, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Julie?
Besides funny and stunning, the words that pop into my mind about you are-
Authentic and inspiring.
This post, your parenting, what your kids are a part of- all embody these things.
Perfection, as always.
XO
by Renee Schuls Jacobson
On October 19, 2011 at 12:54 pm
I love everything about this.
How you are showing your children how to give back, teaching by example.
I love how you made connections with so many cool people.
I love how you look at the children as little people who can and not little kids who can’t.
And I love how you even managed to sneak ED in there, IYKWIM.
by Kristin @ What She Said
On October 19, 2011 at 12:56 pm
Your kids and their friends give me hope that, in this crazy, mixed-up world, we can still raise children to have empathy and compassion, values and ideals. Well done, Julie.
by Bridget
On October 19, 2011 at 1:18 pm
Lovely. The Relay For Life is a great event, this makes me want to do it again!
One of my best friends was team captain at a Relay For Life event in Florida. During their training session they taught them how to do a breast self exam. She found a lump. Ductal Carcinoma. She had a double mastectomy at age 30 and has now been in remission for 7 years.
Yes, I’d say the Relay For Life Does. Some. Good.
by Kelley
On October 19, 2011 at 1:55 pm
This sounded like such a fun & inspiring time! I worked at a cancer hospital for many years, and still help out there on occasion, and definitely believe you have to keep your sense of humor!
by Missy @ Wonder, Friend
On October 19, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Dying that John said he now associates erectile dysfunction with Emily Dickinson. I was thinking the same thing. Poor Emily.
As for the rest of this post, it was perfect. And what amazing kids! The bad news always gets more press, but I think it’s so important to remember that there’s a lot of good out there.
by Jamie
On October 19, 2011 at 3:16 pm
Relay for Life has been huge in our community. It was neat to experience it through your post. And glad to see the sun came out.
by The Flying Chalupa
On October 19, 2011 at 3:22 pm
Okay, maybe it’s just me, but something about walking around a track at 3am with a bunch of friends sounds really fun.
Seriously, what a great group of kids! It makes me lament the state of our nation’s youth just a little less.
by Carolina Valdez Miller
On October 19, 2011 at 3:42 pm
I love this so much I can’t even come up with something remotely witty to say.
Except maybe, how do you pronounce this? “Tang Soo Do”
It sounds like something that might cure E.D.
Seriously, this is wonderful. The feathers, you, your family, teenagers, ED, the ED cure–it all makes me so happy. Bravo!
by Alison@Mama Wants This
On October 19, 2011 at 5:32 pm
You have such a special family, Julie. That was an amazing effort from your children. So much to be proud of.
by Janie Fox
On October 19, 2011 at 7:57 pm
love this. love feather boas. love your kids. love you.
by Ally
On October 19, 2011 at 9:08 pm
What a wonderful, amazing, inspiring experience! I love this.
by Jessica
On October 19, 2011 at 10:16 pm
My aunt passed away from cancer so it makes me happy to hear that you are helping support the cause. You are a special person.
by Jess
On October 20, 2011 at 6:49 am
I never know what to say after reading your posts. You claim all the best thoughts.
So…love. That’s all I’ve got.
by Grumpy Grateful Mom
On October 20, 2011 at 9:21 am
What a wonderful event! I LOVE that the kids all got to participate. I’m glad you have such a great group of teenagers.
by San Diego Momma
On October 20, 2011 at 9:25 am
You are so awesome. And guess what? I was in Camarillo this past Saturday! I might have seen you! But no! My eyes would have burned due to the beauty in your aura.
And another thing!
I too love Erectile Dysfunction!
She fascinated me and I love her words.
Like yours.
XO
by Allison
On October 20, 2011 at 3:35 pm
So proud of Jack. So proud of Karly. So proud of you. This was beautiful.
by Kari Marie
On October 20, 2011 at 8:53 pm
You are an amazing mom with some pretty amazing kids. Sounds like a wonderful event filled with great memories, great friends and HOPE.
I recently attended a service where the pastor mentioned the biblical definition of HOPE is “a strong and confident expectation” rather than the more commonly used “expression of unsure optimism”. Puts a whole new meaning behind the HOPE for a Cure.
Hope is a thing with feathers.
Yes it is.
by Lady Jennie
On October 20, 2011 at 11:58 pm
This brings tears to my eyes. Beautiful! And even more so that you did it as a family.
Sadly I do know my waist size in centimeters. Very sad.
by Jaime
On October 21, 2011 at 5:39 am
This is a beautiful post…I laughed, I teared up, I felt pride for your team. Congratulations to your family.
by Katie
On October 21, 2011 at 11:05 am
you know this is a post close to my heart. We do the Susan G Koman and Relay for Life walks/5Ks every year in memory of Cort’s dad.
And we laughed a LOT with Cort’s dad. We felt like we were mocking cancer and it’s grip on our life.
I am so proud to know you. I am so glad you did this…especially that you did it as a family.
Congrats on a job well done!
by Elena
On October 21, 2011 at 1:22 pm
I really love that your kids did Relay for Life. So awesome. So very, very awesome. I’d love to have seen the purple feather in your adorable new haircut as well.
by Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him
On October 22, 2011 at 8:07 pm
Wow, normally I just love you, but now I love your kids and their friends, too.
Very cool, J.
by Optimistic Mom
On October 23, 2011 at 5:54 am
Great opportunity for you, your family, and the friends. I really love that you pointed out that in addition to the fight, people need be aware. Sometimes we don’t pay attention until it is time to fight. Early detection and prevention are so essential too.
Thanks for a lovely post.
by joann mannix
On October 23, 2011 at 11:39 am
As usual, so beautiful and at the same time, snorting through my nose, funny.
Bravo to you and the other adults and those awesome teens. Yes, there are some great ones out there. I’m fortunate enough to know a few…actually, a whole lot more than a few.
That glowing hope gave me the goose bumps as did your amazing post.
by Ilana
On October 24, 2011 at 6:48 am
How wonderful is it that not only do you support a very good cause but you do it with your children! And they’re not even rolling their eyes in the pictures. You must be an incredibly good mom.
by Jessica
On October 24, 2011 at 9:33 am
Oh goosebumps. From your words, from those pictures and from those amazing kids you have raised.
by Laura Housfeld
On October 24, 2011 at 12:21 pm
Hi Julie,
What a wonderful story! I work for the American Cancer Society Relay For Life doing all our online publications and would love to share your story. We have a new section to our site called “Why I Relay” you can see it here: http://relay.acsevents.org/site/PageServer?pagename=RFL_CA_why_i_relay I think your blog would make a great addition to the page and the accompanying e-Newsletter. Let me know if you are interested in sharing your story with other California Relayers. Thank you.
by Sherri
On October 24, 2011 at 2:06 pm
So very awesome, my friend…awesome.
I’ve participated in the Relay for Life here in our town before and it’s nothing short of inspiring.
by Lynne Garner
On October 26, 2011 at 1:28 am
Ijust love this! from a Garner to the Gardners – Great work…oving yur style! x
by Lynne Garner
On October 26, 2011 at 1:29 am
I jut love this from an #English Garner# to The Gardners – Great work – loving your style! x
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