Fifteen
It seems impossible.
And yet.
It is true.
I already said the very best words I have for you and I still mean every single one of them. So today, instead, let me share this:
a moment with my son in the summer of 2000 when this song played over and over and over…
“Mama…why it’s a good idea to break a promise to your mother?”
it’s not.
“Then why he say it?”
it’s just a song, baby.
“Mama…where I am going?”
now that’s a better question, but I don’t know the answer.
“Why you not let me go?”
Because I can’t yet. I won’t ever, really.
No. Not completely. I’ll never let you go.
Until whatever’s longer than forever.
Love,
Moom
Meet Julie
Call me anything you like...as long as you like me.
Julie
Subscribe to my blog by email!
Featured Posts
Featured Post: My Favorite Post
Would you believe me if I said that I actually gave quite a bit of thought to my 100th post? (I know. Such an overachiever. 100 posts in less than two years! How does she do it?)
Unfortunately, I didn’t pay close attention to how many posts I had published because when you’re... Read more
Featured Post: Today call me laid
Today call me laid but I’m referring to grammar; more specifically to the infinitives to lie and to lay. So if your Google search brought you here for something sexier, you’re in luck. There’s nothing hotter than the proper conjugation of verbs.
(Besides... Read more
Featured Post: Today call me a mother.
Today call me a mother; which means of course I’ve embraced the joys and uncertainties, the fear and faith that attends the title. Motherhood is a gift beyond words, a challenge that bears a name but no fair or complete description.
In its sharpest distillation, parenting calls... Read more
Recent Posts
- When You Lose Something You Can’t Replace
- A Tale of Two Sirens
- How To Not Write a Novel
- So we had a fire
- You wait six weeks for a new post…
- How to Rock a Writer’s Conference
- When a Teacup Is Not a Teacup
- P.S. To Kill a Mockingbird rocks, right?
- Today call me proud. Or cornered. Or just read my post.
- Hands Down
36 Comments to Fifteen
by Poppy
On June 22, 2012 at 7:47 am
We had a birthday here too. We are facing the same milestone next fall. Holding my breath for high school – and I don’t want to let go.
by Greta
On June 22, 2012 at 8:27 am
Oh my goodness. FIFTEEN. Happy birthday to your boy….man? And deep breaths and wine to you.
by Cheryl @ Mommypants
On June 22, 2012 at 8:30 am
Happy 15th anniversary of becoming a mom, Julie.
Fifteen. How is that possible?
Hugs to you today, my friend. And letting go? Not possible. He’s still that baby in the first picture, right?
xoxo
by mj monaghan
On June 22, 2012 at 9:21 am
What great sentiment, Julie.
by annabelle
On June 22, 2012 at 9:30 am
Cinderella turns fifteen in August and it’s killing me. She’s been my best girl since she was four and her mom and I are so different, I wish I had her here with us full time to help guide her through it all.
I know Sally Brown (who is 4 1/2) will be 15 before I know it. I’ve seen how fast it all goes by.
by Di
On June 22, 2012 at 9:58 am
There is nothing longer than forever so he will always be yours. Happy Birthday Jack…we love you today as we did then! XXXOOO
by NannyK
On June 22, 2012 at 10:24 am
Happy happy birthday to our AWESOME nephew!! And cheers to his beautiful mother
by Charlene Ross
On June 22, 2012 at 10:56 am
‘Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You’re gonna believe them
And when you’re fifteen
Feeling like there nothing to figure out
Well count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you’re gonna be
Fifteen
Oops, that’s a totally different song altogether! But yes, all of the ages seem weird to me (I can’t believe my baby is __) But 15?! 15?! How is it possible? There are days when I still feel 15 (or maybe 22) myself.
Congrats Mama! And welcome (back) to high school! xoxo
by Jennifer
On June 22, 2012 at 11:44 am
You are such a great mom. And person. And friend. So many people are so lucky to have you!
by angela
On June 22, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Oh. Fifteen. Happy birthday to him and to you, too, since it is the anniversary of this whole journey for you
Something comforts me knowing I am always going to feel like they are my babies, and I’m glad to see it just continues to feel that way.
I don’t know where he’s going either, but I know it will be amazing because he has such a wonderful family.
by kim
On June 22, 2012 at 12:31 pm
so so so sweet. happy birthday, jack!
by Stephanie
On June 22, 2012 at 12:37 pm
You people all keep saying that these kids get older, but mine aren’t getting older fast enough. And I’m aware I will probably regret that statement, most likely sooner than later.
by Mel
On June 22, 2012 at 12:56 pm
So very sweet. What a wonderful note.
by Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom)
On June 22, 2012 at 2:19 pm
Lovely, J, lovely.
On the morning of my 15th birthday, I knocked my bottom teeth mostly out in a rough basketball scrimmage. Yup. That was me.
Happy “Birth” day to you, my friend!
by Tisha
On June 22, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Sweet and sentimental, but not overly so–perfect for 15.
by Cameron
On June 22, 2012 at 8:02 pm
Oh, I hope I still remember the conversations we have now.
Because he’ll be fifteen when I wake up in the morning, huh?
Happy birth day to both of you.
by Katie
On June 22, 2012 at 8:06 pm
today yours turns 15.
tomorrow mine turns 3.
happy BIRTH days to us.
And happy BIRTHDAY to Jack.
Also…this conversation you had here? This is why I blog.
To remember when he was just turning 3.
Because one day, without my permission at all, he will go ahead and be 15.
by Alison@Mama Wants This
On June 22, 2012 at 10:28 pm
*sniff*
He looks so grown up, Julie.
Wait – he IS.
Sigh.
Happy Birthday, Jack! Thank you for making your mom a Mother. She is awesome.
by Janie Fox
On June 23, 2012 at 4:30 am
This is so sweet. It happens even when we don’t want it to…boom…grown and gone. I know he will always be yours though. You are unforgettable. xoxo
by Jamie
On June 23, 2012 at 10:51 am
What a job you have done and he has done with you. I’ve always believed that we are given the precise child we need and that, in response, needs us.
Second, how can he be 15 when you are only 29? Odd.
by Terri Sonoda
On June 24, 2012 at 6:02 am
Beautiful. I have happy tears. You sure know how to put into words, the feelings I have for my own sons. How do you do that? Amazing. Happy 15th birthday to your son and to you.
HUGSSS,
T
by Lady Jennie
On June 24, 2012 at 11:27 am
Oh my heart is breaking because one day my kids will be fifteen. And oh I’m busting with pride because one day my kids will be fifteen.
So here’s to you Mom – busting with pride and heart a’ breakin.
And here’s to you kid – Happy Birthday.
by Jessica
On June 24, 2012 at 3:05 pm
This post broke my heart, in the best way possible. 15?!? That’s amazing, but so normal, but so amazing at the same time. Happy Birthday to your gorgeous boy!
by Courtney
On June 24, 2012 at 6:53 pm
Oh — J.C. — Fifteen!! It truly seems impossible. I have 4 months to go…
by Jessica
On June 25, 2012 at 5:38 am
Oh goosebumps and 15? Seems impossible doesn’t it. I have a few weeks left until 17. I feel like I should be 17. My heart.
by Suniverse
On June 25, 2012 at 7:02 am
I’m still trying to keep the girl in THAT’S MY BABY mode.
It doesn’t work.
Happy Fifteen. To all of you.
by Jess
On June 26, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Happy birthday to your big 15 year old!
by Galit Breen
On June 26, 2012 at 7:29 pm
Beautiful words, beautiful love.
Happy birthday to your guy!
by liz
On June 27, 2012 at 6:34 am
Just like how I felt 5 was a BIG deal, I think 15 is, too.
I ADORE the second photo of you two, staring at each other.
Happy 15th to your sweet Jack.
by Julie
On June 27, 2012 at 6:12 pm
It kind of makes my heart hurt to read your posts like this, because I know fifteen isn’t so far away. I’m not ready for that, and as well I shouldn’t be, because we’re only at two.
But still. I know it’s there, and it’s too much to think about just yet.
by Carolina Valdez Miller
On June 27, 2012 at 10:40 pm
Do not make me sob. Don’t. Dang it.
Fifteen hurts mommies. Maybe every birthday hurts mommies. But the newest birthday always hurts more than the last. It’s a happy I’m-glad-you’re-growing-and-still-here sort of hurt that twists me up inside. And then you come along and have to make me bawl like a baby over it. Sheesh.
Happy birthday to your baby, little Mama.
by Missy | The Literal Mom
On June 28, 2012 at 6:58 pm
Happy Birthday to Jack. Happy mothering to you. Such a sweet note about him.
by John
On June 29, 2012 at 4:53 am
Happy birthday to Jack! He’s quite lucky to have such a wonderful mother
by The Flying Chalupa
On July 2, 2012 at 8:46 pm
Oh, the baby picture – how precious! And I love Third Eye Blind.
Also, my babies won’t ever grow up to be 15. I’m pretty sure.
by Renee Schuls Jacobson
On July 2, 2012 at 9:26 pm
Julie: I don’t know why I haven’t been getting notifications lately. Hmmm.
But this is lovely.
And I remember those most beautiful words from last year.
Because they are. And the were. And they are again.
Your son is so luck to have you for his Moom.
by Renee Schuls Jacobson
On July 2, 2012 at 9:27 pm
*lucky* dagnabit
Leave a Reply
By submitting a comment here you grant Julie C Gardner.com a perpetual license to reproduce your words and name/web site in attribution. Inappropriate or irrelevant comments will be removed at an admin's discretion.